Brave the Wilderness.

Courage is an inner resolution to go forward despite obstacles; Cowardice is submissive surrender to circumstances. Courage breeds creativity; Cowardice represses fear and is mastered by it. Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expediency ask the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? But conscience ask the question, is it right? And there comes a time when we must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right. – Dr. Martin Luther King Jnr.

When Steve Jobs was 20, he co-founded Apple with his childhood friend Steve Wozniak. Within 10 years, the company had grown into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees. At 30, he was fired from the company due to a power struggle with the company’s then-CEO, John Sculley, and its board of directors. It was a devastating experience. He felt rejected, but he still was in love with his craft, so he decided to start over again. In his 2008 StanfordUniversity Commencement Speech ¹, noted that getting fired from Apple was the best that could have happened to him then:

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

.Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.

As Jobs narrated in his speech, “Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.“. Life is going to happen to us all at some point: the loss of a loved one, getting fired, marital separation/divorce, financial distress, health complications, emotional turmoil, relationship breakup, helplessness, infertility, sadness, etc. Whatever will go wrong will eventually go wrong at some point, if it is not this, then it is that. Staying hopeful during these tough, inevitable periods can be extremely tough, but one has got to brave the wilderness. The wilderness is a lonely and somewhat scary place to be as your so-called friends will desert you, your family members will ostracize you, your colleagues will not reach out, and people will go silent on you during these trying times, but you have to keep believing in yourself and have the courage to stand alone in the wilderness.

Like every season of life, nothing lasts forever. You are being prepared for your next level of grace. There is no testimony without a test, no pain, no gain, no thorne, no throne, no mud, no lotus. The key is to keep pushing, don’t get bitter, get better, and look in the mirror instead of the window.

In her book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, Social scientist Brené Brown writes about braving the wilderness and the courage to stand alone:

Theologians, writers, poets, and musicians have always used the wilderness as a metaphor, to represent everything from a vast and dangerous environment where we are forced to navigate difficult trials to a refuge of nature and beauty where we seek space for contemplation. What all wilderness metaphors have in common are the notions of solitude, vulnerability, and an emotional, spiritual, or physical quest.

Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness—an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.
The special courage it takes to experience true belonging is not just about braving the wilderness, it’s about becoming the wilderness. It’s about breaking down the walls, abandoning our ideological bunkers, and living from our wild heart rather than our weary hurt.

“You don’t wander into the wilderness unprepared. Standing alone in a hypercritical environment or standing together in the midst of difference requires one tool above all others: trust. To brave the wilderness and become the wilderness we must learn how to trust ourselves and trust others.”

BRAVING Frame

You Must Go Through the Wilderness ³

No one wants to be driven away, but it may well be exactly what we need (which is in part why we can’t let the fear of this outcome prevent us from doing what needs to be done day-to-day). Eventually, inevitably, if you are an independent, visionary, or principled person, you will find yourself alienated. Alienated from your peers.

Alienated from the tenor of your times. You may be fired. You may be thrown out of office or made a pariah. Or, best-case scenario, humored but ignored. You can let this break you, or you can let it form you—form you into the person that destiny is calling you to become. Because you know the work you’re doing is important, because you know it’s bigger than you.

Remember: Between mountains lies the valley. You may have tumbled down from your former heights. You may have been thrown down. Or simply lost your way. But now you find yourself here. It is a low point. So? A long desert. A desolate valley. Either way, you’ll need to cross it. You’ll need patience and endurance and most of all love. You can’t let this period make you bitter. You have to make sure it makes you better. Because people are counting on you.

Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up on them. They know not what they do. You, on the other hand, do know. This desert, this wilderness was given to you to cross. It’s part of your journey. To struggle makes the destination glorious. And heroic.

BRAVING Framework

B —Did I respect my own boundaries? Was I clear about what’s okay and what’s not okay?
R —Was I reliable? Did I do what I said I was going to do?
A —Did I hold myself accountable?
V —Did I respect the vault and share appropriately?
I —Did I act from my integrity?
N —Did I ask for what I needed? Was I nonjudgmental about needing help?
G —Was I generous toward myself?

Meditations

Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Mindful Listening

In today’s busy workplace, one challenge we all face is to listen truly. When someone is trying to communicate with us, many inhibitors get in the way. We might be under a deadline, we don’t feel able to devote our full attention, we might be opposed to an opinion or an idea; so we become closed off or defensive.

Listening is more complicated than it sounds. Many of us listen with the intent of replying rather than understanding; we might even interrupt or get reactive without realizing it. We can be sure that the person speaking as noticed they are left feeling slighted and unheard. As though what we have to say is more important, this creates a defensive environment that is ripe for misunderstanding and resentment.

But when we cultivate the skill of mindful listening, we can be more effective at our jobs while also improving relationships with co-workers, clients, and partners. Mindful listening starts by being present with kindness and without judgment. When we listen, our only task is to listen without reaching for our phone, planning our response, or daydreaming. We give the person speaking our full attention, leaving the time for them to say everything they need to say without interrupting.

Practice pausing before responding to ensure that you understand what is being said. Ask questions if anything feels unclear. By taking the time to truly understand what someone is saying, we build an environment of trust and respect. When people feel heard, they are more receptive when it is our turn to speak.

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. – Bryant McGill

Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – Value Uncertainty

We value conviction, we frequently feel like the quick unquestioning answer must be the better one. Maybe we think it is our intuition talking, and we should trust it. No one likes to make mistakes and so we can stay on the wrong track and even ignore information that will make us course correct just because we don’t want to admit our error. It is ok to think fast but leave room fast and little room to think slow too.

Daily Trip with Jeff Warren – Moving at the Speed of Awareness

Podcast