Decision (n.) mid-15c., “act of deciding,” from Old French décision (14c.), from Latin decisionem (nominative decisio) “a decision, settlement, agreement,” noun of action from past-participle stem of decidere “to decide, determine,” literally “to cut off,” from de “off” (see de-) + caedere “to cut” (from PIE root *kae-id- “to strike”). Deciding means to cut off from other options. It is non-negotiable; you have decided where and what you want to do with your life. Making life-changing decisions, especially those not conforming to societal preconceived values, can be tricky. A resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. When most of us make New Year’s resolutions, we make a wish that lasts for 4-8 weeks. As the going gets tough, as they would ultimately do, we go back to our old ways.

No one is going to doubt you more than you doubt yourself. As American industrialist and Automobile pioneer Henry Ford once quipped, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t—you’re right.” The nature of aiming for great things beyond your reach is that people will doubt your ability to pull it through. It is not that you will be doubted; the question is when. The bigger your goal, the bigger the opposition and the doubt you will experience from others. You’ve got to believe in yourself and why you are doing what you want to achieve. Most of us suffer from possibility blindness, which is the tendency for people to project their fears towards someone who is aiming for more than they think is possible.

On your path to greatness, there will be a lot of struggle, strife, trials and tribulations. There will also be plateaus, valleys of distress, peaks, valleys, and rollercoasters of ups and downs. It is part of the process of figuring anything out. No matter what your aim or objective, the start seems smooth, the middle is messy and filled with struggle while the end is always evolving. Success is never guaranteed but the struggle, pain and discomfort is guaranteed but if you give during the strife and challenge; failure is guaranteed. If you are not feeling a bit of pain, struggle, discomfort and stretching while trying to achieve your goals, you are probably not aiming high.

Idol (n.) mid-13c., “image of a deity as an object of (pagan) worship,” from Old French idole “idol, graven image, pagan god” (11c.), from Latin idolum “image (mental or physical), form,” especially “apparition, ghost,” but used in Church Latin for “false god, image of a pagan deity as an object of worship.” This is from Greek eidōlon “mental image, apparition, phantom,” also “material image, statue,” in Ecclesiastical Greek,” a pagan idol,” from eidos “form, shape; likeness, resemblance”. The word “idol” implies what we worship or look up to. It could be a god, religion, or role model, and in the age of social media, our idols are fast becoming our attention-grabbing gadgets, screens, apps and platforms.

The word intention is derived from the  Middle English entencioun, intention, from Old French entencion, from Latin intentiō, intentiōnem. Intention (n.) late 14c., entencioun, “purpose, design, aim or object; will, wish, desire, that which is intended,” from Old French entencion “intent, purpose, aspiration; will; thought” (12c.), from Latin intentionem (nominative intentio) “a stretching out, straining, exertion, effort; attention,” noun of action from intendere “to turn one’s attention,” literally “to stretch out”. Also in Middle English “emotion, feelings; heart, mind, mental faculties, understanding.”

There comes a time in any man/woman’s life when they have to look themself in the mirror and realize that who they see is the architect, driver and the only one that can change their situation. As  Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung once said: “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”  To awaken the greatness in us, one has to look in the mirror instead of focusing on the window. The mirror is a metaphor for personal responsibility/accountability, which requires self-awareness, while the window is a metaphor for the externalities that control our immediate environment. We cannot control the weather, what people do and say to us, how society is shaping up (window), but we sure can do something about how the person we see in the mirror acts and make the necessary changes needed to transform,

“It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end. – Ursula K Le Guin

“A goal is a dream with a deadline.” That definition is generally accepted as a way to reach goals, and it can be pressure-inducing. Achieving the most challenging goals takes time, energy, focus, discipline, and persistence. Overnight success usually takes, on average, ten years of deliberate practice and dedication. When you watch Micheal Jordan dunk the basketball, Serena hit the tennis ball, or Tiger Woods hit a swing, what you will observe in their greatness is the mastery of the process. One of the hallmarks of highly successful people is their obsession with mastering their craft; they are students of the game, and the process is more important to them than the result. They trust their process in the gym, workout session, routine, regimen, practice, drill, etc. As the saying goes, we get rewarded publicly for what we diligently practice in private.

Life will throw different situations, circumstances, trials, and tribulations at us all at some point. It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when. These challenges can be overwhelming at times and even debilitating. You wonder why this is happening to you, and sometimes, when things want to go wrong, they go wrong concurrently. You lose a parent, lose a job, and get separated + divorced all at a time. The rollercoaster of emotions one goes through when the vicissitudes of life come visiting can be overwhelming and burdensome. The key to navigating life’s inevitable challenges is to “Feel the feel, then take the wheel,” as American media entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey often remarks.

I started meditating during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown after watching a Lebron James advertisement on YouTube. I signed up for the Calm mindfulness app afterwards. I started with the Train Your Mind with LeBron James’s calm session, and it was so good I had to get the premium version. I struggled to stay consistent at the start of my meditation journey, but I eventually got into a groove with time. I was dealing with a lot of changes, chaos and challenging moments, such as losing my mum and getting laid off during the pandemic. It was an extremely tough period, and anxiety was an emotion that was reoccurring during that moment in time.  

The word Sonder was coined by John Koenig in 2012 as part of his project, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which aims to define neologisms for emotions that do not have descriptive terms. Sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.