When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. -Maya Angelou
In his Book, First Break All The Rules, British author and business consultant, Marcus Buckingham shares the following parable:
There once lived a scorpion and a frog.
The scorpion wanted to cross the pond, but, being a scorpion, he couldn’t swim. So he scuttled up to the frog and asked: “Please, Mr. Frog, can you carry me across the pond on your back?”
“I would,” replied the frog, “but, under the circumstances, I must refuse. You might sting me as I swim across.”
“But why would I do that?” asked the scorpion. “It is not in my interests to sting you, because you will die and then I will drown.”
Although the frog knew how lethal scorpions were, the logic proved quite persuasive. Perhaps, felt the frog, in this one instance the scorpion would keep his tail in check. So the frog agreed. The scorpion climbed onto his back, and together they set off across the pond. Just as they reached the middle of the pond, the scorpion twitched his tail and stung the frog. Mortally wounded, the frog cried out:
“Why did you sting me?
It is not in your interests to sting me, because now I will die and you will drown.”
“I know,” replied the scorpion as he sank into the pond. “But I am a scorpion. I have to sting you. It’s in my nature.
We naturally want to help people but most times people are always looking out for their self-interest. Most of the times, a liar would always be a liar, a person without integrity would sooner than later show their true nature. It is human nature to want to give people the benefit of doubt but what have come to discover with my brief stay here on earth is:
When you give people the benefit of doubt all the time, they get the benefit and you get the doubt.
Oprah Winfrey shares in “Oprah’s Lifeclass” one of her favourite life lessons she learnt from Dr. Maya Angelou : “When people show you who they are, believe them.
After a few relationships gone bad and more than one night waiting by the phone, Oprah learned the hard way that if a man shows you he’s untrustworthy, believe him the first time.
Oprah was sharing her Relationship frustrations with Dr Angelou and here was her response:
When people show you who they are, believe them, A person says to you, ‘I’m selfish or I’m mean or I am unkind’… believe them. They know themselves much better than you do.
But more often than not, those of us who don’t trust life say, ‘Don’t say a thing like that, you’re not really crazy, you’re not really unkind, you’re not really mean. As soon as you say that, the person (slaps you) and shows you. ‘I told you I was unkind, so now why are you angry?’ ”
I am not saying we should not give each other second chances but when people show who they are like what Maya Angelou said believe them the first time.
All the Best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.
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