‘There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.’ – Elbert Hubbard

If you don’t want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing and be nothing. The moment you say something, do something and stand for something, you become a target for people’s opinions, comments and criticism. Some of this external input would be warranted, most would not be helpful, while some would be subjective. The key to navigating the opinions of others or the Fear of others’ opinions (FOPO) is to know your truth, trust your judgment, learn from well-intentioned criticisms and stay off the comment section. Never explain, those that need it don’t matter and those that matter don’t need. Everyone has the right to their opinion but not to the facts. The fact is that we are beings having a human experience, and that entails making errors, mistakes, and shortcomings.

 Make mistakes, learn from them and do better next time. As an American writer was fond of saying, “Never explain – your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway.” Focus on what and who matters, and stay off the comment section, trying to explain yourself to people who don’t care about you. No matter what you try to do, there will always be naysayers, doubters and energy vampires who will tell you why you can’t achieve your goals. I often try to heed the words of English novelist and poet Rudyard Kipling, who wrote in his illuminating poem IF:

The older we get, the more we wish we lived our lives to the fullest, on our terms and not really caring what most people thought. In our 20s, we cared what everyone thought of us; in our 40s, we stopped really caring about other people’s opinions and in our 60s, we began to realize the truth: no one was really thinking about you. We live in an age where everyone has an opinion about everything, especially what they don’t fully grasp. As the British mathematician Bertrand Russell once quipped, “The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world, the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”

“What is success?
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Meditations

Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Ubuntu

We often consider ourselves individuals separate from each other and in competition. This competitive worldview can cloud our perceptions and stifle one of our most wonderful human qualities. Ubuntu in Bantu means humanity. It is a philosophy, a way of acting that prioritizes the well-being of a group over that of an individual. Ubuntu relies on human interdependence so that no one is left behind. I am what I am because we all are. Instead of feeling threatened by others, Ubuntu trusts that we are fundamentally sound. Remember that you are human because of the humanity of others.

Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – You’re Never Done Changing

In life, change is inevitable, and the world around us will transform. Yet when it comes to what we expect of ourselves, we often forget it.  We usually see ourselves as static. We are more malleable than we realize. Indeed, we frequently change faster in our younger years than in our older years. Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “Constant development is the law of life”.  Every mindful moment is an opportunity for growth, but there is no pressure for growth in every mindful moment.

Daily Trip with Jeff Warren – How Meditation Changes You

A lot of our suffering comes from getting caught up in the drama. Over time, meditation makes certain understandings clearer. For example, things come, and suffering comes from always trying to control and micromanage our experience. Noticing all of this can give us space. Meditation can also help us experience the wisdom of old age no matter what age we are. It gives us perspective, regardless of what temporary comforts or discomfort we may be passing through.

All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.