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Book Summary – You Do You by Sarah Knight.

September 17, 2021 In Book Summaries 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

In You Do You: How to Be Who You Are and Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want, anti-guru and author of Get Your Sh*t Together, Sarah Knight shares strategies on how to stand up for who you are and what you really want, need, and deserve — showing when it’s okay to be selfish, why it’s pointless to be perfect, and how to be “difficult.

“Stand up for who you are and what you want.”

You DO You—is about accepting your strengths and your flaws, whether those flaws are self-identified or just things that you’re perfectly happy about but that other people seem to have a problem with.

Book Summary: Ultralearning by Scott Young

September 13, 2021 In Book Summaries 8 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Ultralearning: A strategy for acquiring skills and knowledge that is both self-directed and intense.

In Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career, author Scott Young argues that learning a new talent, staying relevant, reinventing yourself, and adapting to whatever the workplace throws your way is a surefire way to becoming successful.

Ultralearning offers nine principles to master hard skills quickly.

Young incorporates the latest research about the most effective learning methods and the stories of other ultralearners like himself—among them Benjamin Franklin, chess grandmaster Judit Polgár, and Nobel laureate physicist Richard Feynman, as well as a host of others, such as little-known modern polymath Nigel Richards, who won the French World Scrabble Championship—without knowing French.

Book Summary – The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People by Shahida Arabi.

September 10, 2021 In Book Summaries 14 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“ If you fear you may be in any danger or your abuser has shown violent tendencies in the past, do not confront a narcissist directly.”

In The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide to Dealing with Toxic People, author Shahida Arabi highlights how HSPs can use their sensitivity to listen to their instincts about these con artists, rather than continually betraying your inner voice.

In The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide to Dealing with Toxic People, you’ll learn evidence-based skills grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help you recognize and shut down the common manipulation tactics used by toxic people, such as gaslighting, stonewalling, projection, covert put-downs, and love bombing.

Book Summary -Healing from hidden abuse by Shannon Thomas.

September 6, 2021 In Book Summaries 16 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.

In Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse, author and certified trauma therapist Shannon Thomas describes a roadmap for healing from hidden psychological abuse. What makes Psychological abuse challenging to explain “Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.” Most Psychological abuse survivors don’t have the right language, insights, and strategies to navigate the roller coaster of living or dealing with someone with a personality disordered individual.

Shanon shed more light on the favorite tools of the Psychological abuser such as Gaslighting, Hoovering, use of flying monkeys, smear campaign, Intermittent Reinforcement, etc. She also explains the six stages for recovering from Psychological abuse.

Book Summary -How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LePer.

September 4, 2021 In Book Summaries 14 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“We do not remember days, we remember moments. The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.” – Cesare Pavese.

In How to Do the Work, clinical psychologist, and creator of “the holistic psychologist“, Dr. Nicole LePer offers both a manifesto for SelfHealing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Dr. LePera describes how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole-body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell.

Top 30 Quotes on Regret.

August 22, 2021 In Quotes 5 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.-John Barrymore

Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable. We regret our decisions, choices (choice of mate, education, career, parenting). Regret feels bad because it implies a fault in personal action: You should have done it differently, hence self-blame is a component of regret (Connolly & Zeelenberg, 2002).

In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Australian palliative caregiver Bronnie Ware, documented the top regrets of her dying patients, their insights on living, their dying epiphanies, and their top regrets. According to Bronnie Ware, there are 5 top Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Here are the top 30 quotes on regret:

Book Summary -Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen by Donald Miller.

August 21, 2021 In Book Summaries 13 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“Always position your customer as the hero and your brand as the guide. Always. If you don’t, you will die.”

In Building a StoryBrand, American author and public speaker Donald Miller presents the StoryBrand 7 Part Framework inspired by principles of storytelling.
In a world filled with constant, on-demand distractions, it has become near-impossible for business owners to effectively cut through the noise to reach their customers, Miller shares the proven system he has created to help you engage and truly influence customers.

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey.

August 13, 2021 In Book Summaries 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Common sense is like money and health, once you have it, you have to work to keep it.

Academy Award-winning actor, Matthew McConaughey takes the reader on a journey of his life – lessons learned, raucous stories, outlaw wisdom, prescriptions, and a playbook based on adventures in McConaughey’s life.

John Waters 2015 Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) Commencement Speech.

August 11, 2021 In Speech 9 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

A career in the arts is like a hitchhiking trip: All you need is one person to say “Get in” and off you go. And then the confidence begins.

American filmmaker John Waters delivered the commencement address for the Rhode Island School of Design’s graduating class of 2015. The speech inspired – the Make Trouble book which contains inspiring advice for artists, graduates, and all who seek happiness and success on their own terms.

Book Summary – Midlife: A Philosophical Guide by Kieran Setiya.

August 6, 2021 In Book Summaries 8 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“Midlife is missing out not just on other lives but on the meaning for one’s present life of having them as options.”

“It is a work of applied philosophy: philosophical reflection trained on the challenges of midlife. And it takes the form of a self-help guide. The trials of middle age have been neglected by philosophers, but they are philosophically interesting, and they are amenable to therapy by the tools philosophers use.”

For most of us, midlife is not too late to start something new, though it often feels that way. Don’t be fooled by the foreshortening of time that accompanies middle age. You have more time than you think.

The most elusive challenge of midlife is not to cope with the past or the future, but with the emptiness of the present, the sense that satisfaction is deferred or left behind, that one’s relentless striving is self-destructive.

Actions have CONSEQUENCES.

July 29, 2021 In Life 11 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

You are free to choose whatever action you want to take in life but you are not free from the consequences of your actions.

Sixteenth-century English Mathematician and Physicist Sir Isaac Newton theorized in his 3rd law of motion that “For every action, there is an equal (in size) and opposite (in direction) reaction. It is this action-reaction force that makes it possible for cars to move along a roadway surface. Every one of our actions has consequences, good or bad – Our habits, words, thoughts, affirmations, etc. You are free to choose whatever action you want to take in life, but you are not free from the consequences of your actions.

Like in real life, our actions have consequences: If you work hard, what is hard will eventually work, but you will be cut short if you take shortcuts. What you give in life is what you get back, garbage in, garbage out; if you give out a positive, radiant, optimistic outlook, people would mostly reciprocate by being cheerful. Whether it is working hard, training relentlessly to master your craft, setting healthy boundaries, or getting things done. Actions always have consequences. If you cannot pay the price, you can not win the prize.

You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds. – Dag Hammarskjöld

Book Summary – The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own by Joshua Becker.

July 28, 2021 In Book Summaries 10 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

The more stuff you own, the more your stuff owns you.

Blogger Joshua Becker shares strategies, tools, and insights for becoming minimalist. In the more of less, he offers a plan for living more by owning less. Joshua writes “Not only are my possessions not bringing happiness into my life; even worse, they are actually distracting me from the things that do!”

“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from them. It’s for everyone who wants more out of less.”

Book Summary – The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout Ph.D.

July 23, 2021 In Book Summaries 14 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

There are more sociopaths among us than people who suffer from the much-publicized disorder of anorexia, four times as many sociopaths as schizophrenics, and one hundred times as many sociopaths as people diagnosed with a known scourge such as colon cancer.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

“4 percent of the general population has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD, sociopathy, or psychopathy).”

Social Media is Messing YOU up.

July 22, 2021 In Life 13 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Social Media is a means of interaction among people that facilitate the creation/sharing of information, ideas, career interests, insights, and other forms of expression across virtual communities and networks.

Social Media is by far one of the greatest innovations in the past 50 years and, like any invention, can be used for advancement or used for unintended purposes or consequences. For instance, Nuclear Energy can be used to electrify communities, or it can be used to create atomic bombs; books can change your mindset (Think and Grow Rich) or can be read/written to cause harm (Hitler’s Main Kampf or Karl Marx’s Das Kapital). Social Media is a great source of joy, entertainment; we meet most of our friends and even get married through the platforms, business empires have been built, and great ideas exchanged, careers built, hobbies formed and nurtured.

One in six smartphone users say it would make them uncomfortable to miss a day’s updates on social media.

Book Summary -Kintsugi Wellness: The Japanese Art of Nourishing Mind, Body, and Spirit by Candice Kumai.

July 21, 2021 In Book Summaries 10 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Kintsugi Wellness is based on the philosophies of Japanese life and is organized into four parts: Strengthen, Nourish, Lifestyle, and Heart. At the core of Kintsugi Wellness is Self-Care, we are all broken but we can embrace our imperfections through self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care.

“In Japan, rituals are an important part of everyday life. These practices are prompts that remind you of what’s important, and ground you in the present while honoring the past.”