The traditional “To-Do list” is a list of activities and tasks one needs to complete. It is a tool I use religiously as I journal what I intend to do daily as a blueprint for getting things done. I have found the to-do list to be very useful for achieving goals. I recently came across the “To-Stop” list concept while reading management consultant Marshall Goldsmith’s book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. The to-stop list is a list of activities that can be professional, behavioural, or personal and need to be stopped or delegated to others. As the Chinese writer and philosopher Lin Yutang once quipped, “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”
When creating a to-stop list, one of the key questions is, “Does this activity or relationship bring me joy?” If it does not bring you joy or it has stopped being fun engaging with the tool, activity or task, then it is a prime candidate for the to-stop list. The list can include anything from bad habits, toxic relationships, unhealthy choices, behavioural quirks or default activities. Some things I am considering for my to-stop list include my tendency to want to add too much value, speaking more than I listen, oversharing and being too vulnerable with people who have not earned my trust. Some other things I want to stop doing include stop complaining, gossiping, watching YouTube when I am supposed to be studying in the evening, and arguing. The list is exhaustive, but the first step to changing is acknowledgment.