In her soon-to-be-released book, Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life, co-founder of IT Cosmetics and the first female chief executive officer of a L’Oréal brand, Jamie Kern Lima, writes about self-worth and strategies for dealing with and overcoming self-doubt. She has been on Forbes’ list of America’s wealthiest self-made women for six years, started “IT Cosmetics” in her living room with her husband, Paulo, and eventually sold it to L’Oreal for $1.2 Billion.
In a recent Super Soul podcast episode with Oprah Winfrey, they spoke about the book and the subject of self-worth. Reading from the book:
In life, you don’t soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. In your business, leadership, relationships, friendships and ambitions, you don’t rise to what you believe is possible, you fall to what you believe you’re worthy of. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life.
Jamie shared some staggering statistics: 80% of women feel they are not enough 1, 75% of female executives have dealt with impostor syndrome 2, and 91% 3 of women are unhappy with their bodies. She believes that one of the most prevalent forms of cancel culture is one that no one talks about. It’s us cancelling ourselves before we even try.
Self-Worth vs Self-Confidence
- Self-worth is the internal, deep-rooted belief that you are enough, valuable and worthy of love and belonging, just as you are. Self-worth is innate.
- Self-confidence is how you evaluate and assess yourself based on qualities, competencies, and traits. Although self-confidence is an internal trait, it is based on external factors.
We can get a NO from everyone, but God always gives us a knowing. The moment we trust ourselves, our entire world changes. The Four Steps to self-worth: Reveal, Redefine, Revisit and Revel. When you change your relationship with rejection and failure, you whole life changes. When most of us get reject, we often think that it is a reflection of our worth. We say things like “I am not good enough”, “I am not smart enough”, or “I don’t belong”. Every single thing in life is the meaning that we attach to it. When we change the mean that we attach, we change the story and emotions around it, we change our life.
We can trust what other people say about us, we can trust what our negative thoughts tell us about us, or we can trust what God in our soul says about us. You never doubt who you belong in any room when you know who you are working in with. You cannot have an authentic relationship with yourself or anyone else unless you are willing to show up as who you truly are.
Meditations
Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – The Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman explores how people give and receive love. The love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The idea is that by learning your love language and sharing it with your partner, they can learn it too.
Relationships work better when we understand ourself and our partner. With insight into our differences, we are better equipped to communicate and offer each other what we need. The more we understand ourselves, the deeper our relationships will flourish.
Daily Jay with Jay Shetty — Sense of Self
Imagine having a smartphone and never updating the app, you wouldn’t do that but yet when life throws danger our way or when new information comes along we often refuse to refresh our operating system. According to research, when we link our identity to things that can shift; change can feel extremely disconcerting. That is because, it threatens our sense of self and makes us question who we are. We either deny what is happening or we go into an emotional tailspin where we feel lost.
Reframing your identity involves tying it into something deep such as your values and long-term goals. When you cultivate a more meaningful level of identity, it is like dropping below the waves in the ocean. Whatever shifts on the surface won’t. affect you much and when the wind of change inevitably blow, you would be able to release when it is time to let go.
Daily Trip with Jeff Warren – A comfortable space
Meditation is less about what we pay attention to but how we are paying attention.
All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.
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