It is going to get dark.

As the saying goes, “It’s darkest before the dawn.“, Before your major breakthrough, you are going to be tested with challenges, trials and tribulations; you are going to doubt your abilities, and the naysayers will make you doubt yourself more but don’t give in. Success is not a straight path; it takes ten years to succeed overnight. There would be dark, lonely, cold nights on your path to greatness. You have to see the end in your mind, have faith in a higher power directing your steps and keep it moving always. As American author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn often said, “Don’t wish it was easier; wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems; wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge; wish for more wisdom”.

It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when the challenges will come. As Murphy laws states, “Whatever would go wrong would eventually go wrong, especially at the least expected time.” No one has a problem-free life; you are either going through a storm, leaving, or heading to a storm. If it is not this, then it is that: loss, grief, betrayal, anxiety, sadness, worry, etc. Life eventually happens to us all at some point, either through the loss of a loved one, losing a job, miscarriage, financial ruin, health scare, disappointment, sadness, rejection, or depression, to name but a few. Most of these emotions introduce us to our inner selves, as Albert Einstein once said “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” When things go wrong, as they often do, do not go wrong with it. Do not let success get into your head, nor let failure get to your heart.

Coach John Wooden was the head coach of the UCLA Bruins; he won ten NCAA national championships, seven of them in consecutive years, and had four undefeated seasons, including an 88-game winning streak.  The team did not win a national championship for the first fourteen seasons, but with persistence, hard work, and grit, the team eventually won their first national championship. Coach Wooden made the following observation on adversity in his book, Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections on and Off the Court ¹; he writes:

I have often said that we grow stronger through adversity. We become stronger physically through a weight-lifting program. Our muscles work against heavy objects. That’s adversity. We get stronger mentally through the progressive difficulty of education. We don’t start with calculus; we start with arithmetic. After we learn the basics, we move on to algebra, then to geometry and so on. We work our way up to calculus. In the same way, we grow stronger spiritually through the tests of life. Losing my beloved wife, Nellie, was the hardest event in my life. For a couple of years, it slowed me down; but it didn’t stop me. In the end even her loss has made me stronger.

The human mind is something called antifragile ², which means that it actually gets better with adversity. Like a rock that becomes a diamond under pressure or an immune system that strengthens after repeated exposure to germs, the mind requires stimulation in the form of a challenge. If you deny and reject any kind of real challenge in your life, your brain will compensate by creating a problem to overcome. Except this time, there won’t be any reward at the end. It will just be you battling you for the rest of your life.

Antifragile things need tension, resistance, adversity, and pain to break and transform. We get this by deeply communing with life and being part of it, rather than fearing our emotions and sitting on the sidelines. You can’t stay there forever, nor do you really want to. Embracing the grit of it all was what you were made for. Lean in and start living.

Consider It Joy When You Face Trials ³

Our tough situations can be used, if we choose, to remove our weaknesses and patterns that are currently getting in the way of the life God has created us for. They can teach us and make us better and healthier. I have heard many great performers tell me that losing a particular job or a particular deal was the best thing that ever happened to them, because it showed them an area where they needed to get better. After they got better, they were able to accomplish their goals.

Meditation

• Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Mindful Eating
• Many of us eat mindlessly; we eat meals while walking, driving or working, so we nearly even taste our food. We do this partly because we are busy. Some of us have a complex relationship with food; we eat to self-soothe (Overconsume even when they are not hungry), others are on perpetual diet (eating is an activity filled with stress, guilt and shame).
• Being mindful means paying attention to our present moment experience purposefully and non-judgmentally. When we apply this practice to eating, we can free ourselves from unhealthy eating habits and enhance our overall quality of life.
• When we eat mindfully, we are fully attentive and engaged; our senses are open and heightened, so we entirely experience our food, We pay attention to the texture, colours, sounds, aromas and flavours, and the result is that we enjoy the taste of our food much more,

Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – Reverse Mentorship

• Patrice Gordon and Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic: How can we become more competent leaders? – Reverse Mentoring: Removing Barriers and Building Belonging in the Workplace by Patrice Gordon
• People all around us can help deepen our understanding, broaden our perspective, or enhance our skills. We should never feel too old or accomplished to benefit from mentorship. Have a mentorship mindset where you keep your mind open to opportunities for expansion either through direct conversation or someone’s example. If you view life as a school then everyone is a potential teacher.

Podcast

• WORLD LEADING THERAPIST Answers The Biggest Questions People Ask In Therapy | Lori Gottlieb