I lost my mum to cancer in 2019, and it is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. She gave me two vital gifts before she left: the gift of life and the paradigm shift of living like every day could be your last. Mum was healthy before the diagnosis and was gone in less than ten months. Losing my mum at 55 was tough, as she was on the verge of reaping from the seeds she had sown in her children, business and life in general. Since losing her in 2019, I have had a different outlook on life, and as a result I strive to make every day a masterpiece. As the saying goes, yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift; that is why it is called the present.
Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift; that is why it is called the present.
My mum used to say, “We might think our life would be short and it would be long; we might think it would be long and it would be short.” This was one of her favourite sayings, and at the time, I did not understand that statement, but now I do. It can be tough living in the moment as many things are fighting for our attention, such as work, recreation, and living up to our responsibilities. The challenge for most of us is that we delay living our lives and constantly live in tomorrow. We say things like someday I will start a business when I have enough money, go on vacation when the kids leave the house, someday I will write a book when I have read enough books, and I am more established. We live an “If then” life – if this happens, I will do that. We don’t have convictions; hence we vacillate from one idea to another.
Someday Isle 1
Not only do we all want the same things, but we all know what we have to do to achieve them. And we all intend to do those things, sometime. But before we get started, we decide that we need to take a little vacation to a wonderful fantasy place called ‘Someday Isle.’
Probably 80 percent of the population lives on Someday Isle most of the time. They think and dream and fantasize about all the things they are going to do “someday.”
What is the chief topic of conversation on Someday Isle? Excuses! They all sit around and swap excuses for being on the island.“Why are you here?” they ask each other. Not surprising, their excuses are largely the same: “I didn’t have a happy childhood,” “I didn’t get a good education,” “I don’t have any money,” “My boss is really critical,” “My marriage is no good,” “No one appreciates me,” or “The economy is terrible.”
They have come down with the disease of “excusitis,” which is invariable fatal to success. They all have good intentions, but as everyone knows, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
We delay living our ultimate purpose in life by staying in “Someday Isle”, leading a life of quite desperation. As American Essayist Henry David Thoreau remarked in Civil Disobedience and Other Essays:
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..”
We all have limited time to be alive, and no one knows tomorrow or how long they will be here. Having a sense of urgency involves having a bias for action, living your life optimizing for joy, becoming a better version of yourself and striving to make every day a masterpiece.
As a reminder of my mortality 2, I started wearing the Momento Mori Pendant from Ryan Holidays’ Daily Stoic. The Memento Mori Medallion is also prominently placed in my workspace/desk. I also have the mortality google chrome extension and 30K Chrome Extension installed on my web browser, which is a countdown on the number of days I have spent so far, and it also shows the number of days before I get to 30,000 days (approx. 80 years)
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”
Having all these reminders around me gets me grounded and pushes me to have a sense of urgency daily. I try to play hard, work hard and stay hungry most of the time. No one gets out of this life alive. As author Jim Rohn often said.”Life is the struggle of keep death to a respectable distance.”
Life is the struggle of keep death to a respectable distance.
Urgent Diligence 3
Urgency means leveraging your finite resources (focus, assets, time, energy) in a meaningful and productive way. Diligence means sharpening your skills and conducting your work in a manner that you won’t regret later. When you adopt the mindset of urgent diligence, you’ll pour all of who you are into your days, and subsequently, you’ll find that the unique value you bring to the world comes more clearly into focus.
We have only a certain amount of time available to us, and how we choose to spend our days is significant. We’re also aware that there are things we would like to do and experiences we would like to have before we die, many of which are desires we’ve suppressed for months or even years. We feel the ticking of the clock, and the accompanying sense that we may be missing our opportunity to make a contribution to the world. However, we often ignore these impulses as a result of the relentless pragmatics of life and work. 3
Emptying yourself of your best work isn’t just about checking off tasks on your to-do list; it’s about making steady, critical progress each day on the projects that matter, in all areas of life.
Meditations
- Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Steps
- You can’t rush the process; a seed planted today will not sprout a towering tree by tomorrow. Though it might feel like nothing is happening at first, the seed must grow root down into the earth before it can pierce through the soil’s surface. Every tiny step is part of the process; every small and dedicated act is nudging you forward.
‘i am not fully healedi am not fully wisei am still on my waywhat matters is thati am still moving forward’ – yung pueblo
- Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – Good Idea, Bad Idea.
- Detach your notions from your emotions so that your ideas are met with a fully open mind.
- Daily Trip with Jeff Warren – The Inner Child Project
Podcast
- Allyson Felix: My Own Nike Pregnancy Story – New York Times Op
- Three Truths: You are Enough; embracing failure is part of your success and you have purpose.
All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.
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