Learn to Say No to Yourself.

May 4, 2024 In Musings 4 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Saying no to others is tough, but saying no to oneself is even more challenging. To become more self-disciplined, you have to consistently say no to immediate gratification, doom scrolling social media all day, and say yes to all invitations or anything that catches your fancy. As Lin Yutang, observed in The Importance of Living, “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” Knowing life’s non-essentials is tricky, as one can categorize everything as essential. You could doom-scroll the internet all day while telling yourself, “I am building my brand,” or focus on vanity metrics instead of focusing on actionable metrics.

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” – Lin Yutang,

The Magic of Rock Bottom.

May 3, 2024 In Musings 8 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

American retail businesswoman and TV Personality Martha Stewart was convicted of felony charges in relation to the ImClone stock trading case. She served five months in federal prison for fraud and was fined $30,000. As a result of the conviction, Martha resigned as the CEO of her company and also gave up her sear on the board. After her sentencing, She spoke to a crowd of reporters. Martha said she was sorry for what her actions caused others especially 200 employees of Martha Stewart Living, that lost their jobs. She said she felt sorry that it had to come to this, but she promised: “I will be back.” And come back, she did; Martha rejoined the board of directors of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia in 2011 and became the chairwoman of the Martha Stewart Company in 2012. The Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia brand was acquired by the Sequential Brands Group for $175 million with benchmarked additional payments.

“I will be back.”

The Obstacle is the Way.

May 2, 2024 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

In Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius’ book Meditations ¹, which is a set of personal writing and ideas on Stoic philosophy, he observed in book 7:

“Nothing happens to anyone that he can’t endure. The same thing happens to other people, and they weather it unharmed—out of sheer obliviousness or because they want to display “character.” Is wisdom really so much weaker than ignorance and vanity?

Things have no hold on the soul. They have no access to it, cannot move or direct it. It is moved and directed by itself alone. It takes the things before it and interprets them as it sees fit.

In a sense, people are our proper occupation. Our job is to do them good and put up with them.
But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us—like sun, wind, animals. Our actions may be impeded by them, but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.

The impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.

Keep Your Goals In View.

May 1, 2024 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

We all start the year motivated to achieve some goals before the year runs out, but unfortunately, most of us abandon our goals by the first quarter of the year. One of the reasons that we often don’t follow through on our goals is that we don’t have them in view, constantly reviewing them and impressing them on our subconscious. As the saying goes, be careful what you ask for; you might get it. Some strategies for keeping one’s goal in view include creating a vision board, using your goals as your wallpaper/screensaver on your gadget, writing them down and placing them where you can always see them.

Weather the Storm.

April 30, 2024 In Musings 5 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.’ -Vivian Greene

Life is a series of storms, either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or heading into a storm. It is not a matter of if but of when the storms of life will visit. As Vivian Greene famously said, ‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.’ We can’t really do much about the storms of life, but we can surely be well-dressed for every stormy weather. There is nothing like bad weather, we only have bad clothing as the Scandanavians would say.

Life can be extremely tough sometimes, and the storms keep coming from every angle. The key to navigating life storms is to understand that it is an essential part of life. No pain, no gain, no mess, no message, no test, no testimony, no mud, no lotus. The storm will eventually settle, the sun will rise again, and you will ultimately be fine. Weather the storm while it lasts, life is about managing transitions and learning to stay grounded amid the turbulence. Nothing lasts forever; don’t let success get to your head, and do not let failure get to your heart.

Because it is there.

April 29, 2024 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

English mountaineer George Mallory was once asked by a New York Times reporter why he was attempting to climb Mt. Everest for the third time; he replied, “Because it’s there.” ¹ Mallory participated in the first three British Mount Everest expeditions in the 1920s. Although Mallory and his climbing partner Andrew Irvine perished on their attempt to summit Everest, they persisted and gave it their best shot. In a 1923 New York Times interview before his third attempt at reaching the summit of Everest, Mallory made the following observation about the conquest:

“Everest is the highest mountain in the world and no person has reached its summit. Its existence is a challenge. The answer is instinctive, a part, I suppose, of humans’ desire to conquer the universe.” ¹

Whether it is summiting a mountain, running a sub-3 hours marathon, running your enterprise, or achieving your wildest dream. Achieving anything worthwhile requires taking the first step and baby steps to achieve it. As the ancient Roman Stoic philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca once quipped, “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” Most of the things we consider to be impossible are mainly a result of our mindset and our inability to try. It is not about the marathon run, starting the business or reaching the summit of the mountain, it is more more about what you will become in the process of your attempt.

Trust Your Path.

April 28, 2024 In Musings 4 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Your path to greatness will be filled with obstacles, challenges, opportunities, near-misses, failure, mistakes, self-doubt, naysayers, yay-sayers, doubters, supporters and a roller coaster of storms and battles. The key to making the journey less turbulent is to trust your path, embrace the challenges, bet on yourself always, show up daily, go all in and trust the process. It is going to get more challenging as you climb higher. Remember why you started the journey in the first place and keep it moving.

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flat tires called Jobs, but if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perserverance, a driver called Will Power, you will make it to a place called Success.

Protect Your Energy.

April 25, 2024 In Musings 12 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Everyone is dealing with something you know nothing about. We all try our best based on our level of consciousness, emotional state, and worldview. We are all transmitting energy all the time, either low-frequency or high frequency is based on the context. As the law of energy conservation states ” “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”. You cannot control how other people behave, but you can control how you transmit your energy around people. We constantly transmit energy with how we talk, move, and show up.

At some point, life is going to happen to us all. It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when. Life’s storm, grief, pain, and emotional roller coasters are inevitable. The key is to transform the pain to gain, the mess into a message and live fully to the best of your abilities. You will encounter difficult people, energy vampires, time wasters, and manipulative people on your path to greatness. It is tough dealing with this set of people, as trying to change them is like filling a basket with water. Protect your energy by being the change you want in the world, regulating your emotions, showing, not telling and being true to yourself.

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own – not of the same blood and birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Vote with your Feet.

April 24, 2024 In Musings 7 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Life is a series of storms; you are either going through a storm, leaving a storm or heading to the next storm. During the storms, people are going to show you their actual colours. Your so-called friends will become silent, your frenemies will gossip about your situation, and you will feel incredibly lonely. People come into our lives for a reason, a season and a lifetime. During the stormy seasons, few people will stick with you, most will disappear while others will come around to check if you are still stupid.

No matter what season of life you are in, always trust your path, your greatness and your purpose. Don’t engage anyone, situation or relationship that does not value you or your greatness. Vote with your legs by not going to anywhere you are not celebrated or encouraged. You are being called crazy all the time because the people you are hanging around don’t get it yet. Change the crowd you hang around, and those supposedly crazy goals will become routine. If you hang around professional athletes, saying you are going to run a sub-3-hour marathon does not feel out of the world, but if you hang around people aiming to run their first marathon, you will probably be seen as crazy.

Keep the promise you make to yourself.

April 23, 2024 In Musings 7 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-discipline is the art of keeping your promise to yourself after the initial inspiration has subsided. We all start the year with enthusiasm to change our lives for good. But for many of us, we don’t keep that promise, and hence, we don’t achieve our goals. As the late American author Jim Rohn often said: “Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure.” Success is never an accident, while failure is not usually a coincidence. Success and failure are somewhat predictable; Garbage In, garbage-out actions do have consequences. If you put in the work, what is hard will work, but if you take shortcuts, you will be cut short.

Success is the sum of small efforts – repeated day in and day out. – Robert Collier

Miss Me with the Drama.

April 21, 2024 In Musings 9 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

‘Good fences make good neighbors.’ – Robert Frost.

We teach people how to treat us, knowingly or unknowingly. We allow people to treat us unfairly because they are our childhood friends, family members or the only friends we have. It is tough setting boundaries for our closest family members and long-time friends because it is not easy but at some point, one has got to draw the line. By setting healthy boundaries, we can have a mutually beneficial relationship, but we fear and don’t want to rock the boat; hence, we enable the drama queens and the chaos kings in our lives. Life is too short to be spending it with energy vampires, even if they are family members; you’ve got to protect your sanity.

We know our friends during adversity, and our friends know us during prosperity.

Love is a verb, an action word, a behaviour, not a role. Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood. The older I get, the more I believe less of what anyone says; I only believe your actions. You can say you are my friend, but we can’t confirm that until the chips are down and everyone needs to step up. As Maya Angelou famously said, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time”. Most of us don’t heed the advice of Maya; hence, we give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. In the end, they get the benefit, and we are stuck with the doubt

People are usually who they’ve shown themselves to be in the past. Stop acting surprised when they behave as they always have.

Brave the Wilderness.

April 20, 2024 In Musings 9 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Courage is an inner resolution to go forward despite obstacles; Cowardice is submissive surrender to circumstances. Courage breeds creativity; Cowardice represses fear and is mastered by it. Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expediency ask the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? But conscience ask the question, is it right? And there comes a time when we must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right. – Dr. Martin Luther King Jnr.

When Steve Jobs was 20, he co-founded Apple with his childhood friend Steve Wozniak. Within 10 years, the company had grown into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees. At 30, he was fired from the company due to a power struggle with the company’s then-CEO, John Sculley, and its board of directors. It was a devastating experience. He felt rejected, but he still was in love with his craft, so he decided to start over again. In his 2008 StanfordUniversity Commencement Speech ¹, noted that getting fired from Apple was the best that could have happened to him then:

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

The Magic of Single-Tasking.

April 19, 2024 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Single-tasking is the act of focusing on one thing at a time. To single-task is to fully immerse oneself and concentrate on one activity at a time. For most of us, multitasking is our natural default mode; we constantly switch from one task to another, switch across multiple web browsers, and self-interrupt our work. Time tracking software Rescuetime estimates that we switch between apps and websites more than 300 times a day and check email or chat every 6 minutes. This continuous context task switching comes with an enormous cost. To gain traction in any activity, one has to reduce the dis(tractions) that could sway one away from the task at hand. We live in a world where there is a plethora of tools, technologies and activities that are readily available to get us distracted.

You are one of a kind.

April 18, 2024 In Musings 3 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

‘Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.’ – Oscar Wilde

You are unique; you are masterfully made to discover your purpose and make the world a better place than you met it. There has never been anyone like you in the universe’s history, Sui generis (class of your own), you are king (queen), and you must remind yourself often. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Most of us are leading lives of quiet desperation, sleepwalking through our lives in a digital slumber that has gotten us engulfed in our own bubble.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..”― Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience and Other Essays ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Develop Equanimity.

April 17, 2024 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

True equanimity is not a withdrawal; it is a balanced engagement with all aspects of life. It is opening to the whole of life with composure and ease of mind, accepting the beautiful and terrifying nature of all things. – Jack Kornfield.

Equanimity is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by the experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind. ¹ Equanimity can be defined as an even-minded mental state or dispositional tendency toward all experiences or objects, regardless of their origin or their affective valence (pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral). It is a mental state or trait that is not easily achieved and typically requires some form of practice. It is an “even-mindedness in the face of every sort of experience, regardless of whether pleasure [or] pain are present or not”. ²

Equanimity is derived from French équanimité, from Latin aequanimitatem (nominative aequanimitas) “evenness of mind, calmness; good-will, kindness,”. ³ Equanimity is being at peace with whatever is in our experience. As French Jesuit Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once quipped. “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Equanimity is an even-minded mental state or dispositional tendency toward all experiences or objects, regardless of their affective valence (pleasant, unpleasant or neutral) or source.